I LIVE YET

4 min read

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depressingstories's avatar
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Dearest little ducklings (the creepy train does not rest, it does not take a lunch break, and it does not go on strike), I have returned.  Please, keep your frenzied cheering to a minimum.  The silence helps me realize how few people are actually reading this >,>  To compensate for the lack of readers, I shall let my ego run wild.  So please, enjoy my luminous beauty and gushing talent.  Hell, even I'd be jealous of me (Not really.  Not at all, actually.  I'd probably take lunch money from myself).  Now then my little pictures of cuteness, I shall try to organize my ramblings into paragraphs that make sense.  I shall also inform you that I do not normally talk like this (I'm rarely this entertaining.  Or unentertaining, it's debatable.).  However, through the might and power of the Internet, I can talk however I want to and no one's the wiser.  Yah, it's awesome.

I suppose that I have to explain my lack of valuable contributions to human culture and the art community.  I'm lazy.  That's about it.  I'm so lazy, it's a little disturbing.  The circle of Hell reserved for people afflicted by Sloth is, last I heard, building a wing exclusively for me.  While I can dream it means that I shall have a wing to torture lazy people, I imagine that it means that I am reserved to an eternity of being forced to do stuff and never being allowed to nap (I get it, I probably offended several highly religious Christians/Jews/Muslims.  Please, note me your passionate rantings about the true horrors of Hell, I'd like to avoid it becoming a comment war, thank you).  But, do not fear.  Eventually, I will have to post something.  All of the people I know in real life are probably waiting with horrifying weapons if I don't.  SO, let me know what you think I should make.  I probably won't do it because I lack talent, skill, and enthusiasm, but I'll try :D

On a totally unrelated note, how are you guys :D?  I do actually appreciate those people who really read this steaming pile of nonsense and nonfunny.  We are an exclusive group, you see.  There are maybe 5 of us, including me and my 4 alter egos/multiple personalities.  I say that we should make ourselves a club.  We shall call ourselves, Daringly Ordinary, Really Kreative, or DORKs.  Creative people can't spell, you see *notices total lack of typos*.  >,>..... <,<..... Uhm... *tries to salvage sentence without looking like a hypocritical douche*
But you know who can spell?  AWESOME PEOPLE :D

As my Instant Japanese first lesson actually got some positive feedback (I was more surprised than you are, trust me), I'm ready to make lesson two!  But, regrettably enough, I can't think of anything >,>.  So, please, let me know if there's anything that you'd like to know more about in Japanese.  Hell, I'll even add a culture note if you guys think if will make pageviews go up (*complete pageview whore*).  Though, I really want pageviews on Instant Japanese to help end one of the greatest and most terrible scourages to have ravaged the Internet.  I am, of course, talking about weaboos.  I.  Hate.  Weaboos.  Weaboos are also called "Wapanese", "Japanophiles", and most commonly, "really freaking annoying".  They are, as defined beautifully by the Urban Dictionary, "A negative term directed to anyone overly obsessed with Japanese culture to the point where they become annoying".  Before you pull out the "Hypocrite" card, allow me to explain the difference between your humble author and a weaboo.  I like watching anime shows.  Because some are good shows.  I don't want to be Japanese.  I want to learn about their culture, because it's interesting.  But those weaboos are different.  For whatever disturbing reason, they are determined to become Japanese.  They are rarely actually educated on Japanese culture, they don't bother to learn any Japanese apart from "kawaii", "konnichi wa", "desu", "arigatou", and "ne".  And sweet God they're annoying.  I dearly hope that my Instant Japanese becomes popular so that they stop making asses of themselves or so that we DORKs can look really smartitudinous. Whatever works.  Fight the weaboos!!

Now that all of that is over, I really am stunned by how little I actually have to say.  Well then guys, erm, how's the weather...?  I think that I'm going to end the charade now, actually.  So, be sure to let me guys know if there's anything you'd like to see or learn.  I have nothing but free time... Wow, that's really sad >,>

Oh, and happy birthday to me! *now a deviant for over 1 year... with the same amount pageviews I had 6 months ago*

FIGHT THE WEABOOS
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Comments3
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cullencrazay's avatar
ZOMGOGDSAMYOUREHEREWOWIDONTBELIEVEIT*spaz* :iconexcitedplz:

I think you should make an instant japanese on either honorifics or pronouns 8D

And that was funny. Very very funny. You should have a blog. *nodnodnod*

And the creepy train....wow, i hear the whistle a blowing...